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Written by SPI Yuiiko Tan, Age
21, Undergraduate Psychology Student
This true story
happened when I was in secondary school in year 2003, but
it can trace back to a very sad happening on that day when
I was born in September 1987.
Over the years in my childhood, moths always flew into my
house during Qing Ming festival. We lived in Jurong West Street
42, the same street that has this famous Monkey God Tree,
for all my life. It has a Chinese temple next to my block,
and the Bulim hill forest just behind. Many ritual activities
during Qing Ming took place around my house, like those from
the temple and neighbors burned offering.
So my family supposed it was a thing of norm that the burning
smokes, the fire, the food offerings and the bright spot lights
from the temple tent attracted those insects from the forests.
Nothing strange that some of them sneaked into our flat for
we live at the lowest floor of the block.
Moths came and went, just that may be more frequently than
usual during Qing Ming every year. We all thought so until
one day my careful observation told me otherwise. There was
this black color moth, size of about a palm of a hand, which
always appeared.
I still remember vividly in year 2003 how this black moth
flew into our house at night. It circled around the living
hall for some hours before it rested on our family alter.
My Matisse dog called Elliot raised his head and stared at
the moth while the moth was dancing near the ceiling in the
living room. We thought it was just a normal sight of dog's
curiosity on a flying insect at night.
When the moth settled at the altar, somehow it hid behind
my grandpa photo frame. Bizarre thing started to happen. Other
dogs from outside howled. Elliot stood on his hind feet and
faced the altar. First I thought it was just looking for his
newly met friend, the moth. He stood still for quite some
time that looked weird enough for me. Elliot had never done
this before.
My dog, Elliot,
the white Maltese on the right hand side. Now he is very old.
What was more,
Elliot behaved as if he was charmed. When his four paws returned
to the ground, he started to hysterically and skittishly hop
around in front of the altar. He spinned in Waltz and paused
intermittently as though he was instructed to do so, by an
invisible dog trainer. I saw all these in my own eyes and
concluded that my dog's behavouir indeed was very unusual.
The moth was still hiding. My family members went to bed,
and I returned to my bedroom. I had a very bad habit of staying
up chatting online with my friends over MSN late at night.
At about 4am in the morning, my dad lately came home after
a very long day of night shift work. I wanted to tell him
about the strange behavior of Elliot and the moth. But he
carried his tired body and headed straight to the shower room
in the master bedroom.
To my surprise, the moth suddenly flew into my bedroom. It
parked itself at a corner of the ceiling and stayed still.
We live in a masonette flat where the living room is downstairs
and our bedrooms are up. Normally people said that moths are
attracted to lights. At this wee hour of the night, our house
would usually leave a light on in the kitchen and all other
rooms lights would be out. So the upper level of our flat
is almost totally dark, except may be just my computer monitor
and the dim light from my dad's shower room.
The moth, after staying in my room for a while, it flew into
my parents' bedroom. Usually at night we left the bedroom
doors open for cooling air. Guided by my curiosity, I followed
the moth to see where it went.
Shockingly, I found that the moth was at the door gap of the
shower room. Out of darkness, dim light was shining through
the door gap. Not sure if I have seen wrongly, the moth was
seen trying to squeeze through the gap into the shower room.
It nevertheless did not succeed. One may think that the moth
was attracted to the weak bathroom light and was trying to
squeeze itself body to continue its journey to the light source
which should be perfectly normal. It was just plain strange
that why the moth chose to fly up to the upper floor while
it was relatively much darker here than the kitchen in the
lower floor. Why a moth would choose its path away from the
kitchen light, and flew all the way to the upper floor where
the light was dimmer?
My dad after shower opened the shower room door, and the moth
shun away to a far corner of the ceiling. I shared with my
dad of what happened tonight. He first reacted quite shockingly,
and then he calmly told me to leave the moth alone.
On the next day, the moth disappeared, probably it was gone
while I was sleeping. And it was never seen again. My dad
later talked to me about the moth on what he thought it was.
This is the staircase
of my house. The moth flied all the way up to my bedroom then
to my parents room
My dad believed
the moth was possessed by the spirit of my grandpa. He explained
that the moth was just finding its way to see us. But why?
My dad was revealing to me a sad truth that happened twenty-two
years ago on the date that I was born.
Three major events in my family marked this fateful date of
September 1987. My late grandpa passed away in hospital after
a long suffering of leukemia. His condition suddenly collapsed,
and was struggling in the sick-bed waiting to see all his
sons for one last time (my dad has six younger brothers).
All the siblings of my father arrived to see grandpa except
my father.
Perhaps it was ill-fated, my father on that same day had a
serious injury from an industrial accident. Dad was submitted
to the same hospital as my grandpa's but just in a different
ward. As for me, I was born out of such an incredible coincidence
on the exact same date - the date that my grandfather passed
away and my dad injured. Three of us just couldn't meet each
other on that date.
Poor grandpa waited until his last breath, but in a miserable
vain of seeing his eldest son - my father - for one last time.
And grandpa also didn't get to meet his new born granddaughter
- me. Doctors said that he tried his very most to sustain
himself from the quick deterioration of his dying organs,
till the final moment.
Ironically, I was born on the same date that may grandpa passed
away. The mourning period was cut short. My family's attention
was soon switched to the joy of my birth.
Was that moth really my grandfather who came all the way to
see me and my dad? Over many years of Qing Ming, I didn't
really pay much attention to that particular black moth. We
thought it was normal to have moths come to our house.
But then, that special black moth was never seen again. If
it was really my grandpa, he seems to know that we acknowledged
his coming. His unfinished wish of reunion was eventually
settled. He probably had carried on his journey to the other
world. That night in year 2003, he came to bid us a final
good bye.
The special black moth which I met briefly during Qing Ming
and my grandpa whom I have never get to meet face-to-face,
will forever be remembered by me.
This black moth
is similar to the one that I have encountered in year 2003.
Grandpa, is that you?.
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